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neverending-- damien jurado. |
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oh my god. yes, yes- YES!
no, that was not an orgasm, nor an herbal essences commercial- that was me, Alison, and the feeling of validation!
oh yes.
i swear to fucking god, if i can get just one of these moments thrown into the mix once every, say, year or so, i'll be set. ::le sigh::
i'm having a nite of understanding. i can DO this, i really think i can! i can be responsible, not drink, not be a drama queen, control myself, make money, be a good daughter, pull off the school thing, become a kickass writer, UNDERSTAND THE RELATIONSHIPS I HAVE AND LEARN FROM THEM! oh god, ohgodohgod. i think i'm maturing or something.
i don't want to be one of those people who blames all their fucked-up-edness on their parents, but i'm really sstarting to think that the reason i'm so hyper-sensitive and emotional and conscious of myself is because of my dad, and how my mom and i have always lived on our toes- never knowing when something small we did would make him blow and i'd spend the nite crying in my room, feeling like shit. wow. i am SO ready for this counselor. jesus.
mr. malcolm- fuck you. fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou. i KNOW i may not have the credibility of our society that kristin has but motherfuck THAT!
she's great, she's really is- and i know that she's got a ton of talent. but, i mean, why can't someone else get a chance? i'm not worse, just different. god, i hope it's only that i'm different.
if i suck at this than everything's down the drain.
letter from ms. coriale to me.
oh god-- i will TAKE IT!
I took a look at "my visible heart" and here are some of my thoughts:
First, you did a good job at splitting the poem into parts, although your title really prepares us for the conclusion, meaning a visible, exposed heart, sure of the truth of a feeling that came from her insides.
Then, your introduction prepares the reader for the lack of security or optimism that the writer is feeling, "highway warnings, a lamp post waiting to fall, seemingly done, or had they not yet begun.." There is a heightened intensity from the beginning and I wonder if this is a surrealistic view of a vision that creates futuristic ties: "pretty and captivating and seemingly done or had they not yet begun." This then creates a time change that leaves the reader unconvinced of your experience, yet you come back strong in the end.
Then, I wonder about the role of society that perhaps interrupts, yet in this case the vision of infantile innocence escapes the frame of the "transparent glass."
The ending is my favorite where you are the "cosmonaut, warrior, girl" (separated creatively since warrior girl would drown out the effect of your womanhood..The poet is a warrior, a woman and her strength and faithfulness to this love is like a roller coaster of disbelief, release and realism..But, in the end, she reveals her loyalty and perhaps her visible heart..to love "with your insides" is to love internally, despite all of the outside pressure, the "highway warnings, lamp posts waiting to fall and the red that warns us to turn back and flee from what we have learned to be ominous..
Alison, you are a talented young poet and when I read your work, I ask myself about your experience, your impetus to write..how is it that you have gained this vision at such a young age..I have heart a lot of poets, academics and others who are trying to get exposed and they do not approach your force..You are also using division well as well as other poetic devices..I tried to look at your poem, draw some conclusions and give you some feedback..I hope this helps and again, thanks for sharing this with me..I really enjoyed it.
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hallelujahs's journal
like i can take care of thangs
pessimistic
amorous.
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